Unfinished Fiction

My latest foray into questionable literture got my wheels turning. I have always wanted to write a novel, but I tend to start alot of things and then, before seeing them through to completion, move on to something else. It is with that in mind that I bring you "Unfinished Fiction". A collection of beginnings to novels that after a page or two (or a couple of paragraphs) end up shelved due to: boredom, laziness, lack of creativity, lack of plot, ADD, planetary alingment, etc. Take your pick. I have created this as a private web log, so if you're interested in getting hooked on a good read (very subjective) only to find out the story abruptly stops in the middle of page one, post a comment here with your email address and I'll add you to the list. Enjoy!

Shame On You Oprah

I am always hesitant to pick reading material at random due to the fact that most authors out there seem to have minds that would be better suited to sending in anonymous letters to Penthouse Forums, than to contributing anything good and wholesome to the literary world. It is with that in mind that I picked up a copy of Oprah's Book Club latest pick, "The Pillars of the Earth" By Ken Follett from the local Costco. After all, Oprah is nothing if not good and wholesome, right? And any book she recommends must meet those same standards, correct? And how could any one turn a tale of building medieval cathedrals into anything but good, clean, wholesome storytelling? I guess I should have known that to make a story about building cathedrals interesting would take more than describing the minute details of 12th century brick laying techniques. Ken Follett must have known this would not hold the readers interest either and instead chose to focus on other apparent "hobbies" of medieval Brits. I guess I'll have to stick to the likes of John Grisham, who's work, while usually dull and a little depressing, will spare the reader from feeling the need to shower afterwards. Call me a prude, an uncultured swine, but I fail to see the "culture" in putting down on paper what any male with an ounce of testosterone could conjure up on his own.

The Whole Truth, Nothing But the Truth...

I have been tagged by Aimee to reveal 7 truths about myself. Normally I would not participate in such tom foolery but since she is my sister I will oblige.

1. I work in the computer industry but I cannot stand technology, any of it; Cell phones, myspace pages, bluetooth, you name it, I hate it. I even hate blogs and have had second thoughts about having one. I have been close to hitting the delete button several times because I feel like a sell-out.

2. If I don't make some drastic changes I will probably hit a deuce by the end of the Holidays.

3. 99.9% of the world's population (including myself) annoys the crap out of me.

4. A lot of people believe my quietness indicates I am formulating profound thoughts and observations in my head. In reality, like Aimee, I usually can't think of anything good to say. Most of the time my head is pretty much empty except for a few cobwebs and mouse droppings.

5. I am currently working on a novel. On a good night I can turn out one or two sentences.

6. I have to wash my hands before I go to bed (no matter what I was doing before bed; even if it was just watching t.v.

7. Our family was booed for Halloween (somebody leaves a treat on the doorstep with a picture of a ghost and instructions to boo 2 or 3 other houses). I convinced Cally that we could just bag the booing and nobody would know we hadn't completed our assignment. It was very empowering!

As far as who I am tagging...see number 7.

What Happens in Moscow, Stays in Moscow

Seems to me that the family friendly era we enjoyed in the early 90's has officially come to an end. Back then the U.S.S.R was dissolved, making way for democracy; and Vegas was offering a more sterile approach to entertainment, one that was more akin to DisneyLand than it was to the "take home some v.d., there's plenty to go around" approach of today. Yes, those were the days. Communism is making a comeback in Mother Russia now and Venezuela is making strides towards that same end (because it's worked so well in the past?). I wonder if Russia's move to the left again is similar to what an ex-con feels when set free after years in the pen? i.e. the former inmate is not sure what to do with the new found freedoms and longs to be back in prison where he feels safe. Whatever the reasons, the world is returning to its old dangerous self again. Buckle up.

It Doesn't Get Any Better Than This

I couldn't let the nice weather from this weekend pass without barbecueing a brisket. This one smoked for about 18 hours using a blend of pecan, hickory, and apple wood. Along with the Apple Beer, it made for the perfect meal.

Dookie

Have you seen this iPhone ad on t.v.?
I did some research and the play he mentions is an actual off-Broadway (read trashy) play. I am pretty sure in this day and age I could promote my own poop as art, as long as I ate organic. Enough is enough!

Change of Plans

Alright, so the Iams® diet didn't go over well with the rest of the clan...go figure. Here is the first in what I hope to be a series of posts regarding what is really in the feed bag at our place. Afterall, this is Q d'etat, and for those who might have missed that reference -- it is a play on the phrase coup d'etat (that's pronounced cooh and not coup, as in chicken coup, no matter what Michael Scott says). I thought Q d'etat would be a good barbecue team name (if I had a barbecue team -- anybody want to be on my barbecue team?) because it evokes images of "taking the barbecue world by force!" Anyway, I would have posted pictures of the slow smoked brisket from last week but I was fighting to keep the temperatures up on my cheap barbecue pit and was in no mood to take pictures at the end. However, the brisket was fantastic! Someday I'll have a fancy tow behind custom pit but that is a post for another time.

Tonight we had grilled pizza; hand tossed (o.k. maybe not "tossed" but close enough) dough, seared on the grill, flipped over, then topped with whatever fixins you like. Not too shaby! It has a rustic feel to it that brings back memories of eating pizza at a corner trattoria in Palermo (if those memories are there to begin with, which in my case they aren't). Molto Bene!